This is a serious post for a change, and no photos.
Looking after Van has not been all fun and games of late. Sure we've had some fun times, which are the photos that you have been seeing, but for as many fun times that we've been having there have been just as many struggles.
Almost everything has become a struggle with him.
Some examples: changing his nappy and getting him dressed - he squeals and fights; dinner in his high chair (we have dinner at the same time with him) - he squeals, throws food and tries to get out of his chair; if I'm carrying him (which is what he wants most of the time at the moment) and he gets put down so I can do something - he squeals and throws himself around on the floor until he gets picked up. These examples don't sound like much, but at the moment it is nearly all of the time.
I'm sure it is all related to a developmental milestone of some sort, but at the moment he is, for lack of a better word, extremely needy. High maintenance and demanding.
I'm having most trouble with the squealing. It is any angry squeal that he uses to express his displeasure, and it is quite often his first reaction to something, even if he quickly realises that the something is actually what he wants to be doing. Case in point: if I put him down so I can sit down next to him and read, his first reaction is to squeal angrily. He will then realise that I have a book and he settles down. But the squealing most often comes first. And it's a high-pitched, noisy squeal too.
I think the thing frustrating me more than anything at the moment is the fact that all of our parenting has been about ensuring his needs are met. We carry him a lot; unless something is dangerous we let him do it; we co-sleep; he is with us nearly all the time. And yet somehow, at the moment, it isn't enough. Have we done the right thing? Is trying to meet all his needs actually making him assume he can do whatever he wants all of the time (I am reluctant to use the word spoilt)? To be honest, I am at a loss at what to do about it.
I needed to get this post out there. I'm sure every parent goes through this stage, and it will pass, but I wish it would hurry up!
I would love to hear your comments and experiences on this one....
All kids assume they can do whatever they want all them time, don't blame your parenting!!
ReplyDeleteI am no expert by any means but you are allowed to say no and let him squeal. (This can go on for a while but you can easily distract them - "What's that interesting thing over there?!" ) He will quickly learn what you expect from him. i.e. to wait on the couch while you get a book to read.
With Adam in the high chair I remember we did a lot of positive reinforcement saying "we keep our food on the plate" "we keep our drink on the table" etc We felt like dorks but it really worked. He loved the praise and attention for his good manners and especially when we said it to each other.
Good luck. He is gorgeous!
Rosie
Thanks Rosie!
ReplyDeleteIt is always comforting to hear that others go through the same issues with their kids - and even though I knew it was the case, it is still 'nice' hearing it!